Cư dân mạng những ngày qua đang dậy sóng về những gì tâm sự thật lòng của chồng trẻ 9x nuôi vợ đẻ. Đọc xong mà nghe vãi cả linh hồn luôn các bác ạ! Cười há hốc mồm luôn!

vợ chồng hạnh phúc vợ đẻ

Vk là cái chi đó thật sự rất vl…tao còn nhớ ngày con vk tao mang bầu…nó lùn mà cái bụng nó bự chà bá nữa, đi xa nhìn y chang cái hột mít lăn long lóc ngoài bờ lộ đếu mịa nhìn hài vãi. Đã thế lại thích bon chen đi chỗ hẹp không thích đi đường vòng. Có hôm có 2 chiếc xe máy dựng sát nhau, ấy thế mà nó chen đi ngang cho bằng được, tao trông thấy há mồm hét: “em làm cái đ’ gì thế? nó nổ cho dờ. Còn nhớ có hôm nó bảo “em thèm ăn ốc, anh chở em đi ăn đi rồi mai em đi đẻ, không thôi em đ’ đẻ đâu!”… đm đẻ cũng ra giá, cơ mà tao chở nó đi ăn xong hôm sau nó đẻ thật các mày ạ con vk tao đẻ uy tín vl !!! Thế là đi lên Từ Dũ đẻ, lăn lê bò trườn trên đó 5 ngày nó mới sanh cho tao 1 thằng ku con.

Đờ mờ tau thề các mày chưa có vk thì ham lắm, có vk rồi lên Từ Dũ đi, thấy chị em đi đẻ xấu tính vl ra… Có hôm tau thấy con vk tau đau quá, mò lén lên phòng chờ sanh thăm nó thì thấy ôi… lol toàn là lol …mấy chế mặc váy xanh ko mặc sịp đau đẻ quá nên ngồi banh ta la banh ra đưa hết ra…cái nào cái nấy bằng bàn tay to đùng nhìn sợ vc … Có chế kia chà hẳn lol xuống nền nhà mà hét “bác sỹ ơi em đau quá em chết nhé!”…nhìn xong ku da’i thun lại hết chạy 1 hơi xuống lầu mặt mày xanh lét!!! Đến trưa bác sĩ bảo mua cơm lên cho vk ăn tao mới đc gặp vk tao…nó đau đẻ êm dịu thùy mị vc…chỉ ngồi nhăn nhăn ôm bụng, tao bảo “ăn đi cho dễ đẻ!!” thế là nó lườm tao 1 phát rợn da gà ý gửi gắm “đm mày giỏi m ăn đi..” trông khiếp vc.

vk đẻ không được ngủ với vợ

Sau khi đẻ xong qua phòng nằm, bác sĩ bảo tao tới, chỉ cách cho thay băng và vệ sinh vết thương cho vk tao. đm vừa lột cái tã ra tao thảng thốt há mồm…ôi con búm xênh ngày nào giờ còn đâu, nó đả thành con búm sưng rồi các mày ạ sưng húp, to đùng, chỉ khâu, vá víu nhìn xót cả cl đm !!! Nó nằm thấy tao trừng mắt lên nhìn đứng hình nó bảo “bộ trông ghê lắm hả anh??” tao mới giật mình cười nhẹ bảo “ờ, thì xanh xao chút thôi…”

Đm lần đầu có con biết cc gì đâu, lăn kể trực 5 ngày 5 đêm trên nhà chờ tin, sau về phòng nằm bị ông con hành cho thêm mấy đêm, cứ nó khóc là t lại ẵm nó nhảy hiphop cho đến sáng để con nín, sau mẹ t lên bảo nó đói nó mới khóc, phải cho bú!! đm, lại nhớ đến việc thay tã giờ vẫn còn nổi da gà…trước t thích ăn socola lắm, sau thay tã thấy cư’t xu em bé tao cạch luôn socola đên bây giờ luôn, cái chi mà nó đen xì, sết sệt nhìn kinh vkl…

Có hôm 2 vk ck đang ăn cơm, thì chợt con vk t đứng phắt dậy hối thúc “anh ơi lấy cho em cái tã, anh lấy em cái tã, nhanh nhanh” t đang ăn bị thúc ngu người ra…hỏi nó làm chi thì nó quát “nhanh nhanh đi” rồi chợt nó cuối đầu xuống thành giường khóc nức nở, t ngớ người nhìn xuống thì ôi…”nước tràn bờ đê…nước tràn bờ đê…đau thương khắp 1 miền quê…” đm nó ái ra quần chúng mày ạ, t gồng người để khỏi phải phá ra cười vỗ vai nó kiểu an ủi…”em cầm cái tã đi vô toilet đi…mọi chuyện cứ để anh lo…” nó giật cái tã từ tay tao giọng đay nghiến “đều là tại anh” ơ cái đệt!! hóa ra tại t nên nó đa’i dầm à thiệt là vl !!!

Lại đến chuyện rửa lol, định mệnh cứ sáng đi làm, chiều về lại nấu nước sôi trụng lol con vk, rửa lol cho nó mà lol nó sưng lâu xẹp vc nên phải rửa phải trụng cho kỹ, trụng kỹ thì nó la nóng quá, pha nguội lại thì nó bảo ko nóng sao sát trùng?!! Tính hại nó chết để kiếm con khác thì thấy ôiiiiii đmmmmmmmm fim kinh dị các mày ạ!!! tã của con t ỉa đa’i bấy lâu nó thay ra gói lại lục cục, lòn hòn để trên đầu nằm t ấy các mày ạ!!! tao la nó mà mặt nó cứ trơ ra thế là t phải lúi húi gom lại đem vứt. Sau nó ko vứt bừa bãi nữa, mà nó cho hết vào cái bịch xốp đen buộc kín lại và để gần đống đồ nghề vẽ của tao á, tao dọn đồ nghề thấy cái bịch tưởng bịch gì nên khui ra đưa mặt vào dòm thì……đm con vk hãm lol !!! 

Đã thế tao có cái gương tao hay dùng để rọi mặt chải chuốt, có hôm t phát hiện nó dùng cái gương đó, nó kẹp giữa 2 đùi nó để nó soi lol nó xem có bớt sưng chưa…đm kể từ đó t cứ rọi mặt tao vô cái gương đó là trông mặt t y như mặt lol các mày ạ !!! 

Kể từ khi đẻ, nó thay tính hẳn, ghen vl, có hôm nó thấy t like và cmt khen con bé kia đẹp, nó đe’o nói gì, chỉ xách cây kéo lên để dưới gối của nó làm t sợ vc. Tối ngủ t phải nằm sấp, 2 tay bịnh da’i lại vì sợ nó cắt, mỏi cũng đe’o dám đổi tư thế!!! sáng dậy đau hết cả lưng, ê hết cả bìu đkm!!!

Chúng mày chưa có vk thì chúng mày ham đi, rồi sau chúng mày sẽ thấy cảnh nhé!!!

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